Happy BIRTHDAY
by ReddAlice
Summary: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Oh gee... that's original. Relena isn't the woman inside as she may appear on the outside! An amusing mixture of a very short story, and insane inner dialogue. It's my birthday and I'll LAUGH if I want to!


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Happy Birthday 

**By ReddAlice** Written in 2002

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**Author's Note**: Here is a fic I wrote in 2001-2002… I was delusional and doubling on the same site as two different authors. Raven and Lady Vera… Thank god I grew out of that stage of inadequacies… LMAO… hehe. Anyways, this if a fluff fic I wrote enjoy, I hope to hear from all of you.

**Warning**: OBNOXIOUSNESS!!!! I don't like Relena, even though this fic may make me seem like I do. I wrote in because I thought the reversed roll was necessary, and because I found myself very funny. This could also be taken as… what if I was Relena? How would I feel after years of enculturation? What would I be thinking? 

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"Happy Birthday Relena!" _Stop it_

"Happy Birthday Miss Relena..." _Stop it_

"Happy Birthday Miss Relena..." _Stop it_

"Good Evening Miss Relena, Happy Birthday..." _SHUT UP!_

"Sweet Sixteen was last year... Super Seventeen this year, happy birthday Miss Relena.." **_ERRR_**

"Happy Birthday Miss Relena..." _Oh gee _that's_ **original**!_

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"Thank you..." She said quietly. _Not that you mean it you Vapid bunch of Sheep.... stare at me like I am a porcelain doll..._ "I appreciate it.." _NOT! You think I really enjoy having you all as friends.... you treat me like I am universal ruler! HAHA!_

"Did Heero send you anything special Miss Relena?" (**Nudge Nudge**)

"Yes, He sent me a rose and a black teddy bear...." _DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT HEERO AND HIS STUPID GIFTS... the only reason I want to get near him is so I can rip that shaggy hair from his head and burry it 6 feet under..._ "It was a wonderful gift..." She smiled. I_ want to go home... and rip up the last damn bear he gave me!_

"Are you having a party Miss Relena, a dance like last year?"

"No Elizabeth… I am going to spend it with my Mother..." _NOT!! I AM GOING TO BE MAKING VOODOO DOLLS OF YOU ALL AND GOUGING THEIR EYES!_

"Awe...."

"Maybe Next Year Miss Relena... it would be wonderful.."

_T-yeah Wonderful as my foot up your ass!_ "Yes, maybe..."

Brushing her dark dusty blond hair back from her shoulder she stood and walked from the class room, to her pink limo, and Pagan, whom held the door for her smiling quietly and waiting. "My 17th year working for you Miss Relena..."

"Yes...a wonderful 17..."

"Happy Birthday, a few gifts from your brother, Noin, and Heero are in back..."

"Thank you...." _Shoot me now, God my brother can take his make up gifts and cram them... Noin is a bitch who only gives me gifts to keep me from telling Zechs what I really think about her and her obnoxious eyes and passes she makes for him. AND WHY WON'T HEERO GO AWAY AND STOP HAUNTING ME...gifts **Pshhhhh**...._

Folding her skirt under her knees, she sat back on the leather interior of the limo, and picked up a small pink box rapped with a pink bow and glitter. _Do they know I hate pink???_

"We shall meet your brother at 6:00 pm down town, he is there with Noin... they want to treat you..."

"Very well..." _God can't they both just take those damn suite they are trying to hide from me underground and shoot each other... I wouldn't mind! I don't like lobster, and I don't like pla-_

"They chose Plat Harbor...your favorite..."

"Yes..." **_AHHHHHHHHHHHH_**!

Her fingers lightly ripped the rapping as Pagan began to pull away from the academy. _Oh golly jeepers that swell.... do they know I HATE BEARS and FAIRIES YET! I am 17... Not a 7 yr old child._

It seemed like hours before the arrived home, and Relena hurried to her room without saying a word to anyone but her Mother, "Be down latter I am going to rest..." _Yes, so leave me alone you over aged hag...._

"Ok Relena.... rest up we got a long wonderful day planned."

**_OH JOY..._**

"Okies Mom..."

Shutting the door she leaned against it, her eyes falling upon the rose and teddy bear upon her bed decked out in shades of pink. _That color is getting old_

Immediately she ran and picked it up, twisting she fell back onto her mattress and starred at the dark eyed stuffed animal. "Oh, Heero... I love you.... I dream of you... I obsess with you night and day... I can't bear the thought of you being hurt.....T-yeah break my heart!" (Crshhhhhhhhhhhttttt ) The bears head rolled across the room landing to stare up at her as she savagely tore the stuffing snowing the room with it's white insides.

Grabbing the rose Relena ripped each petal off, "Oh he will die tomorrow.... he will die today.... he will die tomorrow.... he will die today.... he will die tomorrow....HE WILL JUST DIE _NOW_!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA 

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(30 years latter, Mrs. Yui awaits her husband)

_I feel stupider now for say I do...and if he brings me a bear he's dead...and if it's pink I WILL SHOVE IT DOWN HIS THROAT_! "Heero.... your home, love how was today..."

"Fine..." He brushed past her and into the main hall.... a gift under arm. "Relena...." He held between his hands a box wrapped with textured pink paper. "Happy Birthday..."

"Oh you shouldn't have......." **_Really_**_ you shouldn't have...._

"I saw it, and maybe... thought you'd like it.."

"A bear.... awe... I love it." **YUP** _it is going with the rest of the 32 bares you have bought me you freak, umm.... torn..... shredded...... mauled then fed to Bear my stupid dog you freaking bought me._

She hugged him. He hugged back. "I love you so much Heero..." _Yes enough to put rat poisoning in your tea this evening...._

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(19 years latter...)

_YOU STUPID BASTARD WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE DIED 47 YEARS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"Mrs. Yui... would you like to speak a few words_..." It's my birthday and I will laugh if I want to!_

Relena Whipped a stray tear from her eye and turned away from the closed casket, a crazed murder had left his corpse unrecognizable... old he was unable to defend himself… like the youthful Heero had once done. She stepped lightly to her car and slid behind the wheel, and laid her head down on the stirring wheel her heinous laughter mixing into sobs of joy.


End file.
